Wednesday, August 29, 2007


In From the Urban Geek Dictionary:

"MOOSYLVANIA, an island adjacent to the United States, in the Lake of the Woods somewhere between that country and Canada, near to FROSTBITE FALLS, Minnesota.

Moosylvania is an uninhabited, undeveloped land. The precise boundaries and details of the area have yet to be determined, because the soft marshy ground swallows surveyors and their equipment whole. During warm periods the temperature in Moosylvania has risen to twenty degrees below zero. Summer on the island lasts from late September to the middle of October. As a consequence, most of Moosylvania is frozen for most of the year, and is underwater during the brief summer.

All travel in Moosylvania is by birchbark canoe, though the island has a ten-thousand foot airplane runway. Only 18% of that runway is on solid ground, however, meaning that all flights to Moosylvania inevitably sink into the water.

Moosylvania has been pleading for statehood since the time of the American Revolution in 1776. Since then Moosylvania became controlled by a hereditary series of governors belonging to the Moose family. The island has been fought over by the United States and Canada, with Canada twice refusing to accept the territory as a gift, even with Lake Superior thrown into the bargain. Most recently, in 1962 a petition for statehood was delivered to Washington, D.C. by the governor, Bullwinkle J. Moose. Moosylvania remains an unincorporated territory. The would-be state's motto is Don't Tread On Me, and the state flower is the Moosylvanian flytrap, the only plant known to belch. On one occassion Moosylvania nearly sank into the sea, but it was saved by throwing ballast off the island.

Aside from the Moosylvanian flytrap, the only life native to the island are gigantic mosquitoes that terrorize the island during its brief summer.

The Moose Call, the territory's only newspaper, was published in 1962, consisting mainly of comic strips. Milton Fugg of Upper Darby, Pennsylvania, is the Moosylvanian ambassador to the United States, a position he was granted when he mailed a self-addressed stamped envelope to Governor Moose.

The Moosylvania Territory is asking for 18 billion dollars and 4 cents in American aid, the four cents for the postage of the check. This would be for industrial development and the numerous planned civic improvements, and to build a highway that would enable people to drive through Moosylvania without stopping.

Moosylvania has no extradition treaties, taxes, traffic or laws. Travellers are advised that there are no other compelling reasons to visit to Moosylvania."

More on the struggle for Moosylvania statehood straight from Rocky & Bullwinkle creator, Bill Ward's mouth, here.

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